METROdigital Critical Mass July Ride

July's Ride

July 31st, 1998
This ride was marked by many varied and interesting things. Firstly a rider was hit by a most crazed women in a huge car (more later). Secondly there was a concert in Gin's backyard (sorry no pictures). Thirdly the weather was the kind that makes you want to go for a long ride. Last and truly traumatic for me was getting "doored" about three blocks from the Daley Plaza. This was the first time I had been thrown from my bike in about 6 years(sorry no pictures). Since it happened first I'll tell ya about it first. I was headed west on Washington approaching La Salle when a cab number 2022 went past me and then stopped in front of me with a fare exiting the cab from the traffic lane. There were three cars parked illegally in the bus lane that I was riding in the left hand portion of. Just as I got to the door it flew open in front of me (we have all heard this story). My left handlebar was barley clipped and I went over the handle bars. My handle bars got twisted and I could immediate feel my right elbow swelling. On Fryday I thought that the worst of it would be abrasions, more on this later. As I got up the cabbie drove away even though I yelled at him to stop. The fare, this young guy wearing Dockers and a golf shirt comes up to me handing me a twenty dollar bill trying to make amends. As the cab drove away I saw him putting four twenties into his Dockers. I told him to "empty his pockets". I then went on with the fact that I had seen him with 4 $20 bills and I wanted him to "empty his pockets". Now I am a total non-violent person but I could tell that this guy was actually scared of me and the fact that I was six inches taller and wearing sunglasses that he could not see through and my helmet and ready to throw my bike at him gave me a certain amount of pleasure. At this point he started to walk away and I grabbed him by the should and spun him around and put my face right in his. Just then one of these sightseeing trolleys pulls up and the driver sakes if I want him to call the police. I asked if he could hang out for a second and he does. I repeat "empty your pockets). He keeps saying that my bike is OK and that it was no big deal. I keep showing him my bleeding elbow and leaning over into his face repeating my new mantra "empty your pockets". Mr. Docker then reaches into his pocket where I see a crisp $100 bill. I then inform him that I had just seen his C-note and that I was letting him off easy with $80. He hemmed and hawed and then offered me $60 I said "settled" and he did not understand me second and then just forked it over. I then thanked the trolley diver for stopping, he had had his cell phone in hand the whole time. As I was straightening out my handlebars Mr. Docker has the stones to ask me if I know where he has to go to sign up for this shoot the bull 3 on 3 basket ball tournament. I then understood why he was getting out of the cab in a traffic lane, he had no idea where he was. When I woke up on Saturday my whole right side was sore but the swelling in my elbow had gone down considerably. I spent the day napping. Sunday when I awoke I much less sore but I now was stiff on the left side of my neck, no doubt I had been over compensating all day Saturday.My abrasions were completely cool by Sunday morning but to my horror I discover something floating across my left eye. Very disturbing. It is for this reason that I will most likely pursue the cabbie and the owner of the cab.

Massing on the Daley Plaza
By the time I got to the plaza it was almost 5:40 and I was thrilled to see the amount of riders that were hanging out waiting for the mass. Where will y'all be in January? Lots of new faces in the crowd and a few of the old faces were missing, Jim was riding in Montana, Ed was buried in a trying to get a wide format printer to set-up. I certainly am excited to hear that it is in and will soon be working (for me to make the cool wheel inserts I like to make from time to time I must tile together 12 letter size pages using lots of spraymount). Petro and Travis were also missing in action but none were far from our hearts.

The Riders Gallery
Note some of these photos have very striking lighting effects that were derived from the sun reflecting off of some buildings almost as strong as the direct sunshine and at times instead of the direct rays of the sun. One of the following pics has been pretty heavily touched up, it
should not be too hard to find.

Spoiled Useless Vehicles
Stupid Unwieldly Vehicles
Super Ultra Vehicles
Slovenly Ugly Vultures
Squashed Under Violently

Submit your Acronym to daniel@metrodigital.com

This mass had us ride through the parking lot of Whole Foods. Where as we were not really protesting the grocery chain perse we were in search of the people that drive their Sport Utility Vehicles instead of opting for a smaller more efficient car not to mention a bike or their feet. If we do this again we must stop and flyer every SUV in the lot and not just ride through.

The Aggro Driver

As we reached one of my favorite intersections to mass through, Wells and North, I found that Urik and a few other riders were holding a few cars and I joined them. These were mostly northbound cars. A woman driving a huge, blue, four door sedan(also known as a Hooptie) then pulled into the intersection going west and tried to force her way through the mass by continually ramming the bikers who were holding the intersection open for the rest of the mass to follow. At this point I reached into the car and turned the ignition off but I could not remove the key. It was not until I saw her shift into Park that I realized that was the only way to get the key out. My first inclination was to flatten a tyre by pulling the valve stem out of the rim but my pliers were way too buried...next time. This is really only about $2.50 in actual damages. Better than a knife, an old Greenpeace trick. By the time this women got her car started she had gotten really pissed and you can tell from the different look in her face in the two pics of her. She then started to lunge the car forward about 3 feet at a time until all the bikes were pushed out of the way or on top of her car (by this time my batteries were running down and I could not take pictures fast enough). She was able to drive at a high degree of acceleration for about 20 yards until she struck some rider who had already passed through the intersection. I was only able to get a picture of the damaged bike. Iris and others stayed behind to provide moral support and eye-witness testimony. I am certainly willing to say what I saw but I think that the folks that were already at the accident site were better able to tell officers what had happened. Speaking of officers,these officers were as professional and friendly as the officers last month were power crazy, authoritarians. I spoke with Officer Williamson for about 4 minutes while I put my cell phone away and he could not believe what he saw. He was sympathetic to the bike cause. I felt as though he was looking at us and seeing some one he knew.

If you have any further information please pass it along to me at daniel@metrodigital.com